luisa kolker shamanic healer

What is Infidelity?

After having explored intimate relationship in many, if not most of its permutations, I have, in my golden years, arrived at a strong definition of infidelity, and it is this: If I say/do/email-something to or with another person that I would not say/do/email in front of my significant other, then I am being unfaithful to the trust between us.
Why do I mention this? Because from time to time I receive private email messages, on Facebook and off, that are sexually or romantically charged. Most of the time, the messages are from people who know that I am in a committed relationship. I find this to be, at best, a misunderstanding of who I am and what I am about. At worst, I find it to be willfully offensive.
Yes, I am spontaneous, friendly, sexually comfortable with who I am and playful, passionate and feisty (with men and women) on Facebook and in my personal life. However, I am not seductive. To me seduction carries with it an agenda and an ulterior motive. Seduction involves secrecy and it usually rides rough-shod over the hearts of emotionally-invested others.
While there are some sacred, private dimensions of my life that are only for me, my partner and a few others, I take pleasure in being transparent in how I share about myself with friends, family, clients, etc.
I am not about secrecy, seduction and emotional/sexual/romantic intrigue. I’ve been there, done that, been burned by that and hurt others with that.
I choose transparency.

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3 Responses to “What is Infidelity?”

  1. burrowing owl says:

    Exquisite, and also to include fidelity to every ‘boson’ given to the neophyte by gracious and seasoned mentors (yours informing me of you today and spiriting me here…)

  2. Luisa Kolker says:

    Hello Burrowing Owl,
    I understand “exquisite” (thank you!) and “gracious and seasoned mentors” (thank you, again!). The rest of your message I had to put through my secret decoder ring. Do you mean boson as in atomic particle? Who are you, mysterious burrowing owl? (Is this K.W.?) 🙂

  3. Sudeshna Sengupta says:

    So beautifully articulated, Luisa.

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