luisa kolker shamanic healer


Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

What is Infidelity?

After having explored intimate relationship in many, if not most of its permutations, I have, in my golden years, arrived at a strong definition of infidelity, and it is this: If I say/do/email-something to or with another person that I would not say/do/email in front of my significant other, then I am being unfaithful to the trust between us.
Why do I mention this? Because from time to time I receive private email messages, on Facebook and off, that are sexually or romantically charged. Most of the time, the messages are from people who know that I am in a committed relationship. I find this to be, at best, a misunderstanding of who I am and what I am about. At worst, I find it to be willfully offensive.
Yes, I am spontaneous, friendly, sexually comfortable with who I am and playful, passionate and feisty (with men and women) on Facebook and in my personal life. However, I am not seductive. To me seduction carries with it an agenda and an ulterior motive. Seduction involves secrecy and it usually rides rough-shod over the hearts of emotionally-invested others.
While there are some sacred, private dimensions of my life that are only for me, my partner and a few others, I take pleasure in being transparent in how I share about myself with friends, family, clients, etc.
I am not about secrecy, seduction and emotional/sexual/romantic intrigue. I’ve been there, done that, been burned by that and hurt others with that.
I choose transparency.